okk.
ive reconciled with myself.
im not gonna let anything let me down.
imma do whatever it takes to excel
idc whether it'll hurt.
im going for it.
.............................................
replies :D
Larry:okk/ maybe =/
Shermeen:thanks for the taq :D
Ken:Thanks for the tag! :3

updatings:
didnt do much as usual.
helped out at FunRun@East Coast
ahhh.
was a beautiful day :D
wanna know why?
i was a checkpoint official,
and ha to hand out ice cream sticks
as proof they had finished the leg of the race.
XD
they had to snatch from my hand,
as a result,
MY HAND GOT TOUCHED BY 50+GIRLS!
X3
not that happy,
cos not many chiobu -_-"
lawls.
hmmmm.boredd.
gotta tution at 5pm.
so i guess thats all for now!
cyas peeps :3

The sky was beautiful,
and so were you.{♥}

Silence

Why am i like this?

Why can't i be like other people?
Why do i give up so easily?
Why aren't i strong?
Why is it,when i try to do something,
it always fails?
Why is it,when i pray to God,
nothing seems to happen.
Why is it,when i try to accomplish something,
i always end up mking it more complicated?
Why is it,when opportunities are opened for me,
i just mess up?
Why is it,when i try to stand up for myself,
i get humiliated in the end?
Why is it,when i just try to forget something,
i make a big deal out of it?
It all seems to me,
im the cause of all these problems.
i know suicide isnt a solution.
But my life doesnt make a single difference to anyone.
I could just slit,bleed,cry and die.
but as i think of it,i just cant do it.
I dont know why.
All these questions only make sense to me.
i no longer deserve to live.
For all the atrocities ive done in my life,
i could just put a bullet through my head.
But i just cant seem to do it.
Suicidal tendencies just cant help me.
I just cant be perfect.
id rather die,than being alive.
so many problems caused by me.
the imperfect,atrocious,arrogant,petrifying ME.
i wanna be a better person in life.
But i just cant seem to change.
What does my life mean to anyone?
Why cant i just be a studious and serious person?
Someone who concerns about their studies?
I cant judge myself,
let alone judge someone else.
I just cant let my life go.
An unknown reason tells me
my life's important.
To who?
I wanna let it all go.
But i just cant do it.
Suicide's stuck in my head,
but living takes over.
People say they care about me,
but all i see,
are a bunch of people that just wanna be with someone else
Why
is
my
life
so
difficult.

I
see
suicide
as
an
option.

But
i
just
cant
see
myself
dead.

And
i
cant
bear
to
leave
my
loved
ones.

its so cold.

wahh.
today morning woke up to shivering
aircon+heavy rain=homemade snow city :D
was so coooold
didnt go to church today =/
sorry God.
anyway,accompanied my cousin go shopping at PS.
walao.
i now understand why girls like to buy so many stuff D:
i bought a hoodie =D
bcos it was cold?duhh!
ate at Jack's Place -3-
delicioso!
then went to slack around there.
returned home about 5pm?
told me grammaw didnt wanna haircut yet. .}
but itll be soon.
hopefully mrZuhri doesnt see!
God,please dont let mrZuhri see me plox!
watched videos on Tube
i rofl-ed at this.Poor guy =/



mehs.now preparing stuff for school tml.
Remind me to collect ransom from Larry.
ohh i forgot.
Ren yuan,if youre reading this,
stop buggin me in msn k?
i hate geylang people!-not zack!-
understood?
okk.
nites peeps :D

Finale.

hey peeps.
have not been blogging this past few days.
dunno what to post actually. =/
for those who can't see,
ive changed skin .}
edited the frontpage quote.
and edited the navigations.
im using a navi-skin for the first time XD
and the player's hidden.
nope.its not all black.
if you find it,youre one smart cookie :D
Lester has been silent for a few days
so no conversations made at the moment
sadded ):
add me on msn please?
please?please?please?
updates now.
[Friday]
Didnt goto skool.
stayed at home.
0630pm changed & cabbed to cell group.
Learnt about trust & doubt against God.
shared experiences.
the one that really moved me
was my fellow cell group mate Matthew
he lost his sister,whom he really loved when he was 13.
he questioned God and found himself to be hopeless
but his guidance pastor advised him
to move on,and thats what he did.
Hallelujah!
[Saturday]
woke up around 10am
bathed&changed and train-ed to Vivo
watched UP with eileenJie and EricKor
aint funny though.
Eileen touched my hand!
words couldnt explain the happiness i felt XD
aft that walked around until 6pm?
Kor sent me home wif jie,
he hadda run some errands.
in cab,talk with jie soooo long.
drop her off at punggol,
i went back to eunos.
KOR OWE ME $7 ORH!
hmmph.
its 1.06a.m now.
just finished watching FF7:Advent Children.
so bored.really wish i could have a qf
then ill spend every second thinkin of her
:)
imma drag myself to bed.
nites peeps.

Everyone's changing,but I don't feel the same

mwahaha.i laughed at you.

hmmmph.
lets see.
skool-ed.
overslept & woke up at 0630 ==
ahjie gogo gossip like heck.
HE th teacher damnn angry
cos we were released from moriniq assembly late?
she called Sameer idiot.HAHAHAS!
th whole class LoL-ed.
good riddance.
got back common test results
11.5/??[forqot]
i pwned lester!mwhahahhahas!
recess talked to counsellor about some stuff.
MT went through common test.
i scored higher than aashiq and sameer!
[in your face!]
Physics was a bore as usual
History,conson got caught sleeping,
and Nicholas was kinda caught for spraying deo?
i know its not him.
whoever it is,imma slit your throat.
jkjk.but please own up.
hmmm.
no luck in love.
.............................
meh.
imma sleep now.
nite peeps :)

TimeLapse[♫]

replies~
Larry:not regarding sameer. family problems =/
DuckS:thnx for the tag :D/BRING HALO!
lester:thnx for th tag :)/kept your promise,i see :D

updated finally.
added hit counter&Friendship scroller.
tagg if i miss your name out!
Facebook is at 32?
lawls.so low for me--
tdy class alot people called me black?
did not feel offended AT ALL!
i was in a very good moood.
although idk why?
one more thing.
if people ask you to go to this website: killerjo.com,
DO NOT GO!
SERIOUSLY.
lemme warn you first
there'll be a scary face
and the sounds will be like screams
im sueing larry
that bastard gave me the link
it burst the speakers
cos the screams were like
LOUD!
gonna make him PAY!
warned ya.
nites peeps.
Love you guys
Life feels great :)

[♫]Rhapsody

back to blogging :D
overslept tdy ==
woke up at 0820
then rushed to GEMS at about 0925
lucky not punished :P
hmm.
i saw Lester,nicholas,dorothy,lipinq,annabel,aashiq,surendar and the bangla that i hate alot
(if you dunno,jump off the KL twin towers c:)
GEMS:went to re-install the Xbox and TV in the Cabin
idiots.whoever didnt help me.
i had to install all the wires with the help of aaron :)
then went foodcourt to lunch :D



coke count:
Aaron:2,Me:2,Ryan:1,Chien Rong:1,Ms Vivian:1.
Lol?
then dismissed at 0100
went to see ms.ong(counsellor)
i really liked this quote


really made my day.
went home with HaiLi&Lester.
[Warning]The following picture may result in tou ROFL-ing.
Please DO NOT tell HaiLi.:D

reminded me of the weird guy in Army Daze
xD
wellwell,
looks like results are released,although i do not know mine,==
hopefully i get goooooood results:D
Leave a tag please:D
if you do,i LoveYou! :D
cyas peeps.

Tonight ill fall ,and i can't get up.
I need your loving hands to pick me up.
And every night,i miss you.
I can just look up,
and know the stars are holding you tonight.

[♥]

[♥]Haven for the Heartbroken.

never follow my steps
'cause i bang into walls.
never look me in the eyes,
'cause ill tend to kiss you.

omqq.
today had a sudden appointment
with the stoooopid lawyer.
he HAD to make it today morning.
pissed-off ==
nvm.
I SO BLOODY WANTED TO MAKE SAMEER FALL AT MY FEET!
EFFING LAWYER!
thats better :)
please add me on facebook please?
and anyone know my results?
tell me on msn :)
thankyou.
gonna propose to someone soon :)
anyways.
tml needa go GEMS :)
hopefully go somewhere out.
i wanna dance in a tuxedoh sooo much!
saw my brother-in-law dancing with cousin.
SOOOOOOOOO ROMANTIC!

Tempo:Feel The Beat

replies:~
ain:Linked :D
Larry:yupyup.agreed. :)

hmmph.
cousin gave me his super-old Xbox.(not 360)==
should i thank him?
nvm.
and i only got one game.
smth called Hitman 2: Silent Assassin?
kinda fun,but the boredness kills me pretty fast.
finally,after like,2 months
i got to go out with mom & sis :D
we went to C.C
to watch HP6(Half Blood Prince)
mwahahahs.
kinda bored me a little.
aftt that went Tampines,
bought myself some Bands.
I want the spiked one!Rawr!
anyways,if any of you have any Xbox games to spare,
please don't hesitate to leave a tag.
(repeat-the boredness kills me.)
almost finishing all my Stepmania songs
80% of em have AAA rank :)
hopefully results turn good tml.
wish all you guys good luck for results :)

p.s:
stop buggin me peeps,
Naomi ISNT my girlf.
she's a GOOOD friend :D

Tempo:Feel The Beat

BiqBanq

replies:~
Shermeen:thankchu for th tag & concern ^^
naomi:Linked!takecares :)
joanna:thnx for link Banana! :D cook laksa properly liao!


finally common tests are over :D
Litt today.
kinda did it superfast :)
aftt skool did some stuff.
lemme explain.
[1]In school.
(1)Reported to MrGoh,MsOng,MrNg.
MrGoh for histiry test papers
MsOng for vocab wrksheets.
MrNg to complain abt Sameer.
see,this is what i found on Sameer's table.


these are equations for chemistry.
now,this is what happened when sameer tried to hide his mistake.


looks like i caught him.
credits go to nicholas for taking pics,
annabel for advice,
& joel and lester for backup :)
thanks guys. =D
okk.
it may look like im trying to sabo Sameer always.
Wrong!
cmon,people studied hard for the test.
a cheat thinks he can just get away
but no.
God always watches everything from above.
and im always justified about such things.
so to me,i did the right thing :)
aftt telling MrNg,i followed him go see mrZuhri.
talktalktalk then he decided to call his parents on monday.
hopefully full fail in common test(all marks 0 XD)
or suspension.
becos got evidence mah.
anyone happy?
cos i am! :D
[2]Family Court ):
lets see,i went there to fight for my rights
cos dumbass stepdad wouldnt lemme see mom and sis.
kinda got over-emotional cos i shouted at him:

What sin did my mother do to marry a bastard like you?
you claim to be a man of God,yet you do not behave like one.
i am ashamed to call you my father.
Talking about respect?
Like father like son?
you did not show any respect to my poor grandmother,
yet you are against my fucking unrespectful comments against you.

(at this point,the Justice demanded order,and i DID say the vulgarities out loud.Grandma showed tears of emotions,while my mom watched the translator who translated
what i said into sign language.She's hearing and speaking impaired since birth.)

in the end,all went well.
that man couldnt enter the house on weekends between 11a.m and 8p.m
i got the time to see my parents. :)
now,im going into the second goal in my life:Permanent Seperation.

wish me luck.
still lookinq for gf :D
please leave a tag :)
k nites all.

Playlist:
Colours-Flow
My Love-Justin Timberlake ft T.I x3

WoAiCupcakes! ^^
it'll just be me & you :)

Orange/Citrus Mixes.♥

]well.
looks like the rumor mill's starting to grind.
for those who know,
yup.
i was in love with her.

truly/purely/whole-heartedly[♥][♥]

well,it was true.
until i spoke to someone.
kinda messed up a little bit.
and kinda feeling down as well.
but no worries.
im not gonna re-attempt.
seems like there are no chances.
awwws. ):
nevermind.
im not gonna be defeated by just one fall
ill get a loved one :)
so if youre reading this,
i may be yours!
mwahahahahahas :D
(females prefered :D)
lets talk about 13082009
nth much.
HE no laksa.
instead do some writing stuff & common test
teacher said "catch any balls?"
all th boys ROFL-ed :D
recess didnt do much.
ate with Lester,joel and jason.
got into a fight with Sameer(you son of a B*&%$)
this is what happened:
I called someone 'bangla' for fun.[not sameer.]
he then came up to me angrily and started to bash me up?
[well,took panadol.No pain XD]
until Zuhri came :D
finall got punished.
i think he got 2 weeks DC or smth liddat.
tys Mr Zuhri! :D
Tamil,th relief teacher talktalktalk until bell ring.
Physics do theory ;history did my test.
Common test did not do well in Chem ==
imma fail in chem for sure.
nt sure abt overall.
thats all readers.

have a happy post-exam weekend after tml!~

I tried to eat an orange today.
But it was still sour
and i cried
And because it's unlike me to leave anything behind,
i ate it all.
It tasted so sour,i cried.
I cried,because i loved it [♥]

Harder.Faster.Better.Stronger

i so love this pic :)

Replies:
ahjie:Bo despo lah :P. feeling only x3
Ken:thanks for relink.appreciate it :3
shermeen:thanks for relink.aprreciate it ^^
ACE:thanks for viewing,me homie :P

LESTER!
dont announce liddat leh.
kena paiseh liaos
==
but im HAPPY!
........................................

todae morning go skool :)
went as per normal.
until......
ms onqs lesson.
she found us restless?
Excuse me?
it was right after recess.
cmon,have some common sense
and get a boyfriend too :)
harharhars!
Lester really LOL-ed in msn just now when i told him that.
tml going skool again.
whats the worst that could happen?
(unless laksa turns rotten?)
jokes-
waiting for the right moment to ask her.
cmon
make it soon.
too troubled to be alone.
need someone :)
gonna sleep.
needa revise at skool tml.
nites peeps :D

ohno-es

Replies:
Ken:thnx for concern :).im still strong, so no worried :D
Lester:hope she doesnt freak out :P

guys.
this may seem REALLY weird.
but....

if you can't read..
its:
Thank you for your referral for the above mention child.Due to child having
suicidal tendencies,attempts,violent or self-harm behaviors,kindly refer the child to.....

this letter medically states me as DEPRESSED. ):
am i depressed?
idks.
and im supposed to go Woodbridge?!
grrr. nvms
any plans for Sept hols?
call me toos.
i was advised to spend time with friends
and not alone.
Be my friend,for the sake of my life :)
...................
today went to school at 1345 pm
needa take Common Test :)
had trouble waking up ==
kinda easy.
tml going skool in the morning.
will MAYBE bring my laptop along.
hopefully its charged :)
wel i saw her today.
stared at her for quite sometime.
i felt my fody becoming warm :)
i think its love XD
hahahas.
Lester,tell anyone who wants to know.
i dont mind.
dont wanna hold it in anymore :)
anw.
IM NOT DEPRESSED!
gonna have an early night tonight.
ciaos peeps.
still lovinq her from a distance.~♥

i don't know where i STAND with you
and i don't know what i MEAN to you.
all i know is,everytime i THINK of you,
all i wanna do is BE with you.
Be mine forever.
and ill be yours till eternity.[♥]

first post in new bloq!

hellos all!
i mooved to a new locaion.
yup.
http://losinqmyself.blogspot.com/ is the site!
pls relink.
advanced thanks!
still lookinq for gf. :)
anyone!

~silas/arull

National day :D

My3-month old yo-yo! :D

lester:thanks for 6x tags. .3

hellos all.
hmmm.
im single .3
GET ME A.S.A.P!
jokes-
but im seriously single now.
hmm.
didnt do anything tdae.
im Video callinq ahjie now.



see?hmm.
some blogs say theyve trouble uploading pics.
idk why lehs.
dont bother.
anw this is my week-old bag!
look :D




nice?
idks.
anw.
Lester,do you think its time,
i go tell her?
TAG!
mwahahahas.
jokes-
so bored!
will be tagging at other peeps' blogs now.
watch out peoples!
LF>GF
Im Lovinq :D

The Lord is my light and my salvation —
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life —
of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

Psalms 2:1-3

Do not fear Him.
His blessings shall drive your enemies away.
Amen.

Surfing and came across:
Superman's son.
Singaporean.

LOL?
nites all.
Loving her from afar.

replies p.p
lester~thanks for the x2 tag :)

dun wanna title this post
dunno what to title.
ydae on msn had fun
ahjie/yt talkk to me&make fun and stuff.
althouqh asked some questions.
didnt really take it seriously.
lester kept rofl-ing me off
asked him some stuff toos.
please,and i mean PLEASE
lester, keep our conversations personal.
thankyouhs.
lets see:
Granny bday on 3rd Auq
HAPPY uhm...... 64th! bdae :)
thankyou for taking care of me these 10 years.
(eff-s at parents =.=)
cousin bday on 17th
dunno what to buy for herr lehs.
19 year old what to buy?
hmm.
wedding groom?lawls .3
please talk to me on msn
anyonee :/
ooh one more thing
updated playlist
now features:

Tokio Hotel /Through The Monsoon
Dance Floor Anthem[I Don't Wanna Be In Love]/Good Charlotte
1 2 3 4/Plain White Ts[Ultimate Fave!!].3

well thats all for now.
happy advanced bday to sinqapore.
and....
isnt class boring without me?
-jokes-
ciaos!

I typed your number
into my calculator
and when i turned it upside down,
it spelled a nasty word.
It looks like we're through.
Goodbye.

Stepmania!Exclaimations

Replies~
Ken:thnx fr th tag!
Lea:anything for chuu sweetie .3
Lynn:tys dearrie .P
Ken:thnx for the concern =/

............
yo!
postinq in once again on this beautiful
Wednesday niqht
........
do i sound cheerful?
wow.
well im playing Stepmania
to pass time.
kinda cool
besides playing Audi.
pishh.
Stepmania
Thoughts at the moment:
Someone deserves better.......
Lester,you'll know what and who im talkin about
so keep your mouth SHUT!
pretty please?
still bored.
someone talk to me in msn please?
kinda quiet there =/
oh!
Happy belated to Joweh/Aiko!
forgot!
damnn im so dead.
she was my bestie from pri skool
........
oh yeah!
since today's technology is advanced
i've been using this mobile bible
on my phone.
Download >>>>here<<<<

tag please!thankyous.

nite peeps.

i say i love you,but.
do you know what that really means?
bby,i need you.
missing you as well.
don't say goodbye just yet...
i was in love with you.
but somethings happen for a reason
and now,
you deserve better.

thFinale.

FINALLY!!!!!
new bloqskin :D
sooo happy:P
urgh.
short happiness.
got a new baq
has a dice print.
kinda cool :P
eve didnt quite like i ;/
she said i need more colour in my life.
......
nbm about that.
dayumm
family problems revent me from going to skool
at this time.
cuz my stepdad's harrasing my guadian
for no good reason.
even tried to bring men
to threaten her.
i only can hope and pray for all this to end.
if any of you guys spread rumors abt me
pontenq skool or smethinq
cmon.seriously.
what does spreasing rumors abt someone do good for you?
......
anyways.
slowly regaining my faith in God.
lost it during harder times.
reading the bible now.
and gotta sleep too.
nites all.
Ti Amo-s to all who love mee :3
-jokes-